Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Should Be on the Side of the Utah Jazz

I should appreciate them.

They have a fine coach -- a selfless, long-suffering man. This guy.

The play very good offense. They play offense like you always wish your team played offense. Take it to the rim. Put fouls on your ass. Then, when you overcommit inside, kick it back out for threes.

They do this without all-stars. I should like them. I should admire the Utah Jazz.

The closest they came to an all-star this year is their point guard, this guy.

And he doesn't have a very nice face. This is not the face of a man in commercials. This is the face of a resident of the state of Utah.

I should value the team effort of the Utah Jazz above the approach of other teams, who have good-looking stars and run things through them.

I should say, Who cares if the low-level stars of the Utah Jazz do not have handsome faces?

I should argue that we-- the Utah Jazz-- are what basketball is supposed to be about.

I should adore this guy, Matt Harpring.

I should be excited when Matt Harpring comes off the bench to throw his not very talented self all over the other team's good-looking star.

I should scream, GO HAPRING! DEE-FENSE!

And if anyone intimated that I feel should feel stupid about how poorly our New Orleans-born moniker suits us, I should ignore this frivolous person.


Ravi Mangla said...

it's against human nature to root for the overachieving, tenured-coaching-staff, teamwork-wins-championships kind of teams, like the Jazz or Patriots ... except for maybe the Little Giants.

Perverse Adult said...

Well, that Matt fellow certainly has a nice... face. Is he Mormon?



BlogSloth said...

I've always respected the team but couldn't cheer. I could never get over the Utah thing. The notoriously venomous stadium crowd versus their supposed lifestyles. I never could get my head around it. They are known for shit-talking, right? I don't get it.

I could be wrong. Never actually sat at a Utah game.