Friday, August 15, 2008

Fantasy Literature Basketball, or 'Crap out of My Ass #1'

saw a new one in a cover letter recently. You almost never see a new one but recently I did: the writer listed a couple names of OTHER writers s/he was in a certain issue of a certain journal w/.

this got me daydreaming a brilliant new game possibility: Fantasy Literature Basketball. How it works: you get to draft a starting five of writers you've been in issues/postings of journals with. Your starting five goes up against other people's starting five. How would the winner be determined? Maybe you can help me with this part. I'm more interested in getting together a mean starting five. Let's see..... Tao Lin (he gave me a cigarette to put out for him in an issue of Fourteen Hills, but there was a drag left and I took it...)

Mary Miller (she gave a line smile in a cell phone portrait I took of us in an issue of Storyglossia)

Kim Chinquee (she used my shades lens to check her lips w/ in an issue of Quick Fiction, and when she was done she brought her thumb to the glass and said, Here, you've got a smudge)

Keith Lee Morris (he kept a very kind look on his face while listening to me tell a story I'd told him before in an issue of Puerto del Sol)

And then somebody from the rock 'n roll fifth b'day issue of SmokeLong. Kinsella? No, I'll trade him for Blake Butler and a bunch of draft picks that will be kicking your Fantasy Literature Basketball team's ass in a few years' time.....

11 comments:

Ravi Mangla said...

I think you're on to something here. Who's running the point?

Scott Garson said...

Chinquee's running point, for sure. She can hit, but we don't need her to!

BLAKE BUTLER said...

haha that is nice, a fantasy draft of writers would be fun, somebody start programming that!

BARRY GRAHAM said...

dear mr. garson,

please consider my short story - . i have recently been photographed with joyce carol oates, drank a few beers with jayne anne phillips, and drove joe wenderoth from the airport to a shitty little bed and breakfast when he came to town.

thank you,
-

BARRY GRAHAM said...

ok ok ive been thinking on this. im going with an all ann arbor line up that im pretty sure can hang with a national team.

DAVY ROTHBART - point guard. i was in found magazine once and he actually played in the nba's b-league.

ELIZABETH ELLEN - shooting guard. even if she can't hoop she will rip your fucking balls off and feed them to you.

STEFAN KIESBYE - center. he's 7 foot and he hoops and runs marathons.

MATT BELL - power forward. he's a fucking beast. that's all i'm saying.

STEVE GILLIS - small forward. steve gillis probably cant hoop but he's in the mafia. he makes shit happen. he makes people disappear.

i was all set to put AARON BURCH in the line up but he just left for illinois. so he's out. this is the ANN ARBOR ALL-STAR FAB 5. fuck chris webber and juwan howard.

Scott Garson said...

Isn't Bell leaving for Ohio or something?

Anyway I won't contest it. We'll put Tao Lin at center. Probably he's not giant. But read the prose! And Butler -- he's like our Igoudala. He's going to hurt you at forward no matter what you do....

BlogSloth said...

J Harrison at Center.

When I worked for BWR, beginning poets would drop the New Yorker in past pubs.

Uh, ok...

S

Scott Garson said...

Harrison is a beast. Bet he'd like to take it to Ann Arbor on behalf of the U.P....

Laura Ellen Scott said...

Um, I can give you Al Gore, but I'd be more comfortable playing fantasy tee ball. everyone wins and everyone gets a trophy.

BARRY GRAHAM said...

bell vs butler at forward. i'll take that bet. i think getting in best american is the equivalent of the all american first-team.

laura - i'll give ya al gore. when it gets tough, he'll just give up without a fight.

ryan manning said...

the next night we ate whale