My New Computer Is Fast and Other Stories

* My new computer is fast. "If you want, you can have more speed put in, but you won't need it," they told me at the store. I told them, "I want it. I need it." Now I can really tool around. Vroom, vrroom, vroom, vroom, vroom!

* I once made up w/ a boy I'd got in a fistfight with, a linebacker on the high school football team, by taking him out for a ride in my father's sports car, which was a vintage Triumph Spitfire. It wasn't very powerful, but it looked pretty good, and it was a convertible. I tooled around upscale residential streets with this guy in the passenger seat, and because I was going too fast and didn't know these streets well, I spun out and hit nothing. I can't remember what we said as we sat there crossways in the street. "Woh!" I imagine we said.

* He provoked the fistfight by coming up to me in the stands at a basketball game and spitting on me. So I had to go fight him, outside. All these people followed us out there. I thought I was getting my ass kicked because my nose was bleeding all over both of us, but in the vice principal's office the following Monday a.m, I saw that I'd blackened his eye pretty good.

* He did that -- spit on me -- because I was, according to him, messing around with his girlfriend, who was a good friend of mine. I told him that he had that all wrong, that we were just friends. But I lied. I was messing around with his girlfriend.

* I played high school football myself only one year, freshman year. I was a guard. Sometimes I got in on defense too, and one of these times I intercepted a pass. I was just standing there, not knowing what the fuck was going on, and the ball fell into my hands. Interception. I ran a few yards and got pounced on. Later, down the street from where the high school was, I got the high score on Asteroids and put in my initials. SAG.