Sunday, May 17, 2009

Wet Dreeming

I'd really like to find some stranger's picture on the internet and create a facebook account for this person. I don't know what the name would be. I'd have to see the picture first. But let's just say Bob. Then I would have Bob add me, the real me, as a friend. Then I would have him add my sister. It would be so enjoyable waiting to see if my sister would give in and friend Bob. If she did, I would have Bob friend my mother. I'm pretty sure my mother wouldn't take Bob on as a friend, but I'd want to test it out. Once I got bored w/ my family, I'd start having Bob friend my other friends. The writers would be easy. The writers would say, Who is this guy? And then they'd look at mutual friends and go, Oh, a writer. It would be a little more fun to have Bob friend my old friends from high school. If they took him on, I'd have him leave half-true memories on their walls. Like, Do you remember that time you were passed out on the couch and turned over and threw up in my shoes?

How would people deal w/ that? I wonder.

And the statuses. I'd have Bob really go to town w/ the statuses. I'd have him say that he was thinking of dish soap. Two minutes later, I'd have him say that he was still thinking of dish soap. An hour later, I'd have him say that he'd been thinking of dish soap all this time. Then the next morning I'd have him ask, Does your ass ever itch? And a few minutes later: my ass itches right now. And a few minutes later: I don't know what to say right now because I'm not really thinking about my ass as much as thinking about not thinking about it. And then a few minutes later: it doesn't itch any more!


Molly Gaudry said...


Here's a pic:

Ben Brooks said...

this was good.
A good plan.

Tim Jones-Yelvington said...

back when everyone I knew still used livejournal, I tried to create a fake livejournal account, but the character I created was too dull to make any friends an I realized the photo I used, which I found by google image searching the same name I'd given my character, was of a firefighter who died on 9/11, and then I felt really shitty about the whole thing.

Scott Garson said...

yeah maybe the dead firefighter angle put the spiritual kebosh on that project.....