(ed's note: McDonalds' staff ring Happy Meals up as 'boy' or 'girl')
Dear McDonalds:
Yesterday you gave my brother and me different toys in our Chicken Nuggett Happy Meals. My toy was just a duck in a pond. My brother's toy was an airplane machine. I didn't like the duck in a pond because it was just a duck in a pond. It didn't do anything. I liked my brother's toy. It did lots of stuff. It could fly, it could turn, it could make stuff, like people. You shouldn't have given me a duck in a pond. That's something silly. Next time you should give me something like a machine or something like an airplane. I was mad at McDonalds yesterday because you gave me that stupid toy.
Sincerely,
N.E.S. Garson